1. Coca-Cola was originally green.
------------------------------
2. The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
------------------------------
3. The name of all the continents ends with the same letter that they start with.
------------------------------
4. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
------------------------------
5. There are two credit cards for every person in the United States .
------------------------------
6. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters
only on one row of the keyboard.
------------------------------
7. Women blink nearly twice as much as men!
------------------------------
8. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath..
------------------------------
9. It is impossible to lick your elbow.
------------------------------
10. People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you
Sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.
------------------------------
11. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
------------------------------
12. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the
toughest tongue twister in the English language.
------------------------------
13. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to
Suppress a sneeze; you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck
and die.
------------------------------
14. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from
History. "Spades" - King David; "Clubs" - Alexander the Great;
" Hearts" - Charlemagne; "Diamonds" - Julius Caesar.
------------------------------
15. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
------------------------------
16. If a statue of a warrior on a horse has both front legs
in the air, the person died in battle. If the
horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.
If the horse has a all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural
causes.
------------------------------
17 What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and
laser printers all have in common?
Ans. - All invented by women.
------------------------------
18. Honey - This is the only food that doesn't spoil.
------------------------------
19. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
------------------------------
20. A snail can sleep for three years.
------------------------------
21. All polar bears are left handed.
------------------------------
22. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive
from each salad served in first-class.
------------------------------
23. Butterflies taste with their feet.
------------------------------
24. Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
------------------------------
25. In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
------------------------------
26. On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.
------------------------------
27. Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.
------------------------------
28. Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.
------------------------------
29. The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
------------------------------
30. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
------------------------------
31. The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the
body to squirt blood 30 feet.
------------------------------
32. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over
million descendants.
------------------------------
33. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in
your ear by 700 times.
------------------------------
34. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
------------------------------
35. Most lipstick contains fish scales.
------------------------------
36. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different
------------------------------
37.
29 December 2007
16 December 2007
pj :P
hunter shoots at a dog but tiger dies.Y??? 
ANS: becoz dog's name is tiger...
a hunter shoots at a tiger but an apple falls.Y???
ANS: becoz tiger will be eating apple
A hunter shoots at tiger but a balloon bursts.y???
ANS: it was tiger's bday party..
a hunter shoots at tiger,but SRK DIES.Y? 
ANS: the tiger was watchin climax of DEVDAS
a hunter shoots at tiger,but hunter dies.Y???
ANS: a cheetah pounces on hunter
ANS: becoz dog's name is tiger...
a hunter shoots at a tiger but an apple falls.Y???
ANS: becoz tiger will be eating apple
A hunter shoots at tiger but a balloon bursts.y???
ANS: it was tiger's bday party..
a hunter shoots at tiger,but SRK DIES.Y?
ANS: the tiger was watchin climax of DEVDAS
a hunter shoots at tiger,but hunter dies.Y???
ANS: a cheetah pounces on hunter
Amezing InFo
Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs10.
The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.
The man bought thousands at Rs10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at Rs20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to Rs25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at Rs50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.
In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at Rs35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell it to him for Rs50."
The villagers squeezed up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys.
Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!!!
Welcome to the "Stock" Market!!!!!
The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.
The man bought thousands at Rs10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at Rs20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to Rs25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at Rs50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.
In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at Rs35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell it to him for Rs50."
The villagers squeezed up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys.
Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!!!
Welcome to the "Stock" Market!!!!!
04 December 2007
Two Tough questions..
===Question 1===
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who
were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis,
would you recommend that she have an abortion?
Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.
===Question 2===
It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts.
Here are the facts about the three candidates.
Candidate A. Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with
astrologers. He's had two mistresses.
He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.
Candidate B He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used
opium
in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.
Candidate C He is a decorated war hero.
He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never
cheated on his wife.
Which of these candidates would be your choice?
Lets give a shot and try deciding first...
Hope there is no peeking...
Now if you have decided on your answers, scroll down for the response.
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- --------- -
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.
And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question:
If you said YES . . .
. . . you just killed Beethoven - Gr8 musician
Pretty interesting isn't it?
Makes a person think before judging on something... ..
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who
were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis,
would you recommend that she have an abortion?
Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.
===Question 2===
It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts.
Here are the facts about the three candidates.
Candidate A. Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with
astrologers. He's had two mistresses.
He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.
Candidate B He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used
opium
in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.
Candidate C He is a decorated war hero.
He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never
cheated on his wife.
Which of these candidates would be your choice?
Lets give a shot and try deciding first...
Hope there is no peeking...
Now if you have decided on your answers, scroll down for the response.
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- --------- -
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.
And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question:
If you said YES . . .
. . . you just killed Beethoven - Gr8 musician
Pretty interesting isn't it?
Makes a person think before judging on something... ..
27 November 2007
How do you differentiate between programmers and non-programmers?
A non-programmer thinks there are 1000 bytes in a kilobyte.
A programmer is convinced that there are 1024 meters in a kilometer.
/*********** ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******/
Ramu : I've just become a member of Rotract Club.
Somu : public member or private?
/*********** ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******/
Ramu : Hey.. My submarine is not sinking into the water!! What could be wrong?
Somu : may be u have used float instead of double in the software.
/*********** ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******/
THIS ONE IS TOO GOOD!!!
PS : Hey Bull, Can you do me a favor? Can you pass on these 500 rupees to Suthi..?
Bull : Sure.. Why not? But tell me one thing. Tell me whether its pass by value or pass by reference.
/*********** ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******/
Ramu : I am very very sure that the guy who just talked to me is a software engineer...
Somu : how do you say that?
Ramu : he asked my physical address instead of my home address!
/*********** ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******/
Ramu : why people are beating that SW engineer black and blue?
Somu : it seems, he asked one of them that whether "vante mataram" is new kind of RAM in the market!
/*********** ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******/
Ramu : Hey.. I think that SW engineer is very very naive..
Somu : How do you say that?
Ramu : He believes that there is an Arabian Sea++ next to Arabin Sea.
/*********** ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******/
Ramu : Hey.... whats time now?
Somu : System time or local time.
19 October 2007
Bhool Bhulaiyaa Title song (2007)
Music Director: Pritam Chakraborty
Director: Priyadarshan
Producer: Bhushan Kumar, Krishan Kumar
Singer: Niraj Shreedhar
Lyricist: Sameer
Cast: Akshay Kumar, Vidya Balan, Shiney Ahuja, Amisha Patel, Paresh Rawal, Rajpal Yadav
Ram ram ram ram…
Where’s she at, I m searching for this fine shoddy
And you think like i be gettin naughty
I m for you, you know I dont play that
Cause I mean it when you hear me say that
Madly searching for this fine shoddy
In my world the number one hotiee
Every where she make ‘em(them) go crazy
Gosta get me, he has not yet made it
Teri aankhe bhool bhulaiya, baatein hai bhool bhulaiya
Tere sapnoo ki galiyon mein, I keep looking for you baby.
Teri aankhe bhool bhulaiya, baatein hai bhool bhulaiya
Tere sapnoo ki galiyon mein, You keep driving me so crazy.
Dil mein tu rehtein hai, betabi kehti hai
I keep praying all day..
All day.. all night long
Hare ram hare ram, hare krishna hare ram - 4
ohhh oooo
I wanna know what your thinking when you’r alone
Cause i m wishing i could call on your phone
Talk to you right through the middle of the night
Casue i think i m struck by love at first sight
You represent my dream to perfection
Cram de la cram, you’re top of selection
Will you do your hair close..?/
Tu meri khamoshi hai, tu meri madhosi hai
Tu mera hai aafsaana
making me so happy, shaking my body
Tu hai aawara dhadkhan, tu hai raaton ki tadpan
Tu hai meri dil jaana
anything about you, baby i like it
Teri zulfon ke neeche, meri kwaboon ki janat
Teri baahon mein aake, bechaini ko milti raahat
My only wish is if i ever ever could make you mine
Every one pray with me,
All day, all night long
Hare ram hare ram, hare krishna hare ram - 2
Ohhh hooo
I have been watching you all day long..
I have been watching you.. watching you.. i have been calling your name -2
All day.. all night long
Tere vaade pe jeena, teri kasmoon pe marna
Baaki aab kuch na karna
Lets talk about it, lets get started
Chahe jaaga ya sooya deewanepan mein kohya
Duniya se aab kya dharna
Move on looking, life is all party
Tere ehsaanson ki gherayi mein dooba rehta hun
Tu meri jaan banjaye her moh har rab se kehata hun
Everyone’s talking about us, whereever i go
My love is rocking baby, com’on now com’on
Hare ram hare ram, hare krishna hare ram - 4
ohhhooo
Teri aankhe bhool bhulaiya, baatein hai bhool bhulaiya
Tere sapnoo ki galiyon mein, I keep looking for you baby.
Teri aankhe bhool bhulaiya, baatein hai bhool bhulaiya
Tere sapnoo ki galiyon mein, You keep driving me so crazy.
Dil mein tu rehtein hai, betabi kehti hai
I keep praying all day..
All day.. all night long
Hare ram hare ram, hare krishna hare ram - 4
02 October 2007
(bhiga/tija tera rang tha main toh - 2
jiyaan tere dhang se main toh,
tu hi tha maula tu hi aan maula mere le le meri jaan - 2) - 2
tere sang kheli holi,
tere sang ki diwaali
tere angano ki chhaaya,
tere sang saawan aaya pher le tu chaahe nazarein,
chaahe chura lein laut ke tu aayega re shart laga le
bhiga/tija tera rang tha main toh - 2
jiyaan tere dhang se main toh,
tu hi tha maula tu hi aan maula mere le le meri jaan - 2
mitti meri thi bhuri,
wahi mere ghi aur churi??
wahi raanjhe mere woh heer,
wahi sevaiya, wahi khir tujhse hi ruthana re,
tujhe hi manaana tera mera naata koi duja na jaana
bhiga/tija tera rang tha main toh - 2
jiyaan tere dhang se main toh,
tu hi tha maula tu hi aan maula mere le le meri jaan - 4
lyrics of ek hocky dungi main rakhke
zara zara sa
zara zara sa
hatke
chal dara dara sa
dara dara sa
dara dara sa
bachke
chal zara zara sa
zara zara sa
zara zara sa
hatke
chal dara dara sa
dara dara
ek hockey dungi main rakhke
chak de chak de
ek hockey dungi rakhke
chak de chak de
ek hockey dungi rakhke
chak de chak de
ek hockey dungi main rakhke
chak two
she’s new
kehte hai mem
badi teekhi iski game
she is cool
par dil ki hai fool
badi badi teamo ka bhulaye haal chaal
hai ye english maal aaja - Preeti sabharwal.
what?
you have a problem with me?
chak three
she stings like a bee
gaon ki ye chhorri
khele hockey chori chori
baap/bhai koi roke to
kare seenazori
dribble mein is-se tez nahi koi saali ho ya saala
aa gayi bhaiya, chha gayi bhaiya - Komal Chautala.
khelne wala khel rahega
rokne wala phail rahega
ye jyada marore mooch
chaat le, jaake bhains ki poonch!
chak de chak de
ek hockey dungi rakhke
chak de chak de
ek hockey dungi rakhke
chak de chak de
ek hockey dungi main rakhke
chak four
on the floor
ghisi hui hai, piya hua hai, ghaat ghaat ka paani
sabse senior player hai na, karti hai manmaani
himmmat aur himaakat hai
team ki hai khalnayak
apne dil mein game badalde
aaja - Bindiya Naik.
arre dekhe humne bade bade hain coach ye angrez se
line pe inko lana hai saam daam dand bhed se
chak five
gimme a dive
captain hai aur goalee bhi
par ghar ka goal khali hi
ek taraf hai ball aur stick
dooji taraf - khush-haali hi
shaadi muhskil game hai
par player haar kab maane hain
Vidya Sharma - India captain
iske bhi kuch maane hain
chal zara zara sa
zara zara sa
zara zara sa
hatke
chal dara dara sa
dara dara sa
dara dara sa
bachke
chal zara zara sa
zara zara sa
zara zara sa
hatke
chal dara dara sa
dara dara
ek hockey dungi main rakhke
chak six
needs a fix
kumbhakaran hai team ki
khair hai jab tak soyee hui
aaye jab ye josh mein
tikne na paaye koi bhi
wo aaye re, o chhayee re
she’s called - Balbir Kaur.
koi rok sake na tokk
jo jyada bole thok
hai dil mein jo bhi baat
dono hothon ke saath
tu bak de
oye chak de…
chak seven, chak eight
someone’s gotta get them straight
hain senior players dono jaani maani
ek hai shararat, dooji hai manmaani
yaad karayein naani ko bhi naani
- Aliyah Bose and Gunjan Lakhani.
badnaami mein bhi naam hai
kaun inhe samjhaaye
coach ka to bus kaam hai
huh! maze ke dushman aaye
chak de chak de
ek hockey dungi rakhke
chak de chak de
ek hockey dungi rakhke
chak de chak de
ek hockey dungi main rakhke
chak nine, ten, eleven
from the players’ heaven
they’re three
they’re free
as good as seven
Rani - yunhi naam nahi
ye backfield ki rani hai
Soimoi - bas naam hai mera
lekin badi sayaani hai
Nethra Reddy - andhra se
nahi kisi se haari hai
dushman ki dushman hai teeno
hockey se hi yaari hai
chak twelve, thirteen, fourteen
they are always seen
they are always keen
they teach a team
to be a team
Gul hain ye Iqbal bhi hai
khoon mein hockey behti hai
khandaan ka naam ya khud ka
yehi musibat rehti hai
north-east ki taazgi
inki aan, baan aur shaan hai
dono chup chup rehti hain
par ye hi team ki jaan hain
Molly Zimik
zara zara sa
hatke
chal dara dara sa
dara dara sa
dara dara sa
bachke
chal zara zara sa
zara zara sa
zara zara sa
hatke
chal dara dara sa
dara dara
ek hockey dungi main rakhke
chak de chak de
ek hockey dungi rakhke
chak de chak de
ek hockey dungi rakhke
chak de chak de
ek hockey dungi main rakhke
chak two
she’s new
kehte hai mem
badi teekhi iski game
she is cool
par dil ki hai fool
badi badi teamo ka bhulaye haal chaal
hai ye english maal aaja - Preeti sabharwal.
what?
you have a problem with me?
chak three
she stings like a bee
gaon ki ye chhorri
khele hockey chori chori
baap/bhai koi roke to
kare seenazori
dribble mein is-se tez nahi koi saali ho ya saala
aa gayi bhaiya, chha gayi bhaiya - Komal Chautala.
khelne wala khel rahega
rokne wala phail rahega
ye jyada marore mooch
chaat le, jaake bhains ki poonch!
chak de chak de
ek hockey dungi rakhke
chak de chak de
ek hockey dungi rakhke
chak de chak de
ek hockey dungi main rakhke
chak four
on the floor
ghisi hui hai, piya hua hai, ghaat ghaat ka paani
sabse senior player hai na, karti hai manmaani
himmmat aur himaakat hai
team ki hai khalnayak
apne dil mein game badalde
aaja - Bindiya Naik.
arre dekhe humne bade bade hain coach ye angrez se
line pe inko lana hai saam daam dand bhed se
chak five
gimme a dive
captain hai aur goalee bhi
par ghar ka goal khali hi
ek taraf hai ball aur stick
dooji taraf - khush-haali hi
shaadi muhskil game hai
par player haar kab maane hain
Vidya Sharma - India captain
iske bhi kuch maane hain
chal zara zara sa
zara zara sa
zara zara sa
hatke
chal dara dara sa
dara dara sa
dara dara sa
bachke
chal zara zara sa
zara zara sa
zara zara sa
hatke
chal dara dara sa
dara dara
ek hockey dungi main rakhke
chak six
needs a fix
kumbhakaran hai team ki
khair hai jab tak soyee hui
aaye jab ye josh mein
tikne na paaye koi bhi
wo aaye re, o chhayee re
she’s called - Balbir Kaur.
koi rok sake na tokk
jo jyada bole thok
hai dil mein jo bhi baat
dono hothon ke saath
tu bak de
oye chak de…
chak seven, chak eight
someone’s gotta get them straight
hain senior players dono jaani maani
ek hai shararat, dooji hai manmaani
yaad karayein naani ko bhi naani
- Aliyah Bose and Gunjan Lakhani.
badnaami mein bhi naam hai
kaun inhe samjhaaye
coach ka to bus kaam hai
huh! maze ke dushman aaye
chak de chak de
ek hockey dungi rakhke
chak de chak de
ek hockey dungi rakhke
chak de chak de
ek hockey dungi main rakhke
chak nine, ten, eleven
from the players’ heaven
they’re three
they’re free
as good as seven
Rani - yunhi naam nahi
ye backfield ki rani hai
Soimoi - bas naam hai mera
lekin badi sayaani hai
Nethra Reddy - andhra se
nahi kisi se haari hai
dushman ki dushman hai teeno
hockey se hi yaari hai
chak twelve, thirteen, fourteen
they are always seen
they are always keen
they teach a team
to be a team
Gul hain ye Iqbal bhi hai
khoon mein hockey behti hai
khandaan ka naam ya khud ka
yehi musibat rehti hai
north-east ki taazgi
inki aan, baan aur shaan hai
dono chup chup rehti hain
par ye hi team ki jaan hain
Molly Zimik
Mary Ralte
Chak de
chal zara zara sa
zara zara sa
zara zara sa
hatke
chal dara dara sa
dara dara sa
dara dara sa
bachke
chal zara zara sa
zara zara sa
zara zara sa
hatke
chal dara dara sa
dara dara
ek hockey dungi main rakhke
chak de chak de
ek hockey dungi rakhke
chak de chak de
ek hockey dungi rakhke
chak de chak de
ek hockey dungi main rakhke
and now, we chak one
coz he’s never never ever done
he plays a hard game
in the sun n the rain
in laughter n pain
he’s always the same
chak de for the one and only chak one
Kabir Khan
chak de chak de chak de India…
chak de chak de chak de India…
lyrics of chak de title song
doobe, kariye ya mariye
chak de…
ho chak de india
chak de…
ho chak de india
chak de…
ho chak de india
chak de…
ho chak de india
nowhere to run nowhere to hide
this is the time to do it now
goonjon mein galiyon mein
ration ki phalliyon mein
mahalon mein beejon mein
id-on mein teej-on mein
raeton ke daano mein
filmon ke gaano mein
sadkon ke gaddon mein
baaton ke addon mein
hunkara aaj bhar lein
dus baarah baar kar lein
rehna na yaar peeche
kitna bhi koi kheenche
tass hai na
mass hai ji
zidd hai to ho
zidd hai ji
pisna yuhin
pisna yuhin
pisna yuhin
bas kariye….
koi to chal zidd fariye
doobe, kariye ya mariye
haye..
koi to chal zadd fariye
doobe, kariye ya mariye
chak de…
ho chak de india
chak de…
ho chak de india
nowhere to run nowhere to hide
this is the time to do it now
ladtee patangon mein
bhidti umangno mein
khelon ke melon mein
balkhati railon mein
ganno ke meethe mein
phakkar mein cheente mein
dhundo to mil jaaye
patta wohi jo mein
rang aisa aaj nikhre
aur khul ke aaj bikhre
mann gaaye aisi boli
rugg rugg mein jal ke boli
tass hai na
mass hai ji
zidd hai to
zidd hai ji
pisna yuhin
pisna yuhin
pisna yuhin
bas kariye….
koi to chal zidd fariye
doobe, kariye ya mariye
haye..
koi to chal zadd fariye
doobe, kariye ya mariye
chak de…
ho chak de india
chak de…
ho chak de india
01 September 2007
meri marzi from gembler by devang patel
meri marzi
main chahe ye karu main chahe woh karu
main chahe yaha jaau main chahe waha jaau
gore ko main kahu kala jeeja ko main bolu saala
nadi ko main bolu naala chaabi bina kholu taala
mere baare mein kuch kehna nahi
chupchaap baithe raho bolna nahi
mujhe samajhana mat jhooth sahi
chahe pee jaau main chaay kaafi daal ke dahi
meri marzi ...
har chauraahe par main apni murti lagawau
news paper kaat ke apna suit main banawau
hospital mein jaake main zoron se chillaau
pehalwan ko god mein leke lori sunaau
do sau teen sau chaar sau ke chhapvaau nakli note
aalu tamatar ko maaru criket ke shot
swimming pool mein tairne jaau pehanke kurta dhoti
badi laactari lage kabhi to rakhu surat roti
mujhe ab roko nahi mujhe ab toko nahi
mera kaha sun ke tum aaise ab chaunko nahi
nakli daadhi much laga ke ban jaau main chor
apne ghar mein chori karke khoob machaau shor
paani pe main raashan rakhu muft mein bechu tel
kankar patthar dhool daalkar sabko de du bhel
main chahe ye karu ...
main apni shaadi mein na jaau meri marzi
main pairon se table bajawaau meri marzi
main kutubameenar pe ghar banawaau meri marzi
aadhi raat ko chhat pe chadhu bajaau shehnaai
har terrace pe daadhi much ki kar du main safaai
bete ko main baap kah du pote ko main daddu
roz savere uthake khaau gyaarah kachche kaddu
sar ko ganja karavaake do fut ki rakhu choti
shaadi ki baaraat mein jaau pahan ke main langoti
gadhe ki dum pakadake usako maaru laat
sher ko apane paas bula ke jhaapad maaru saat
mujhe ab roko nahi ...
shok sabha mein dhol bajaau saath mein gaana gaau
pyaaj ka perfume laga ke roz main ofeece jaau
do botal paani pi ke main baayen daayen dolu
chalate havaai jahaaj ke main sab daravaaze kholu
main chahe ye karu ...
main bina sur ke gaane gaau meri marazi
main bagair ticket bhi train mein jaau meri marazi
main sheeshe se patthar ko todu meri marazi
main paani ke oopar bhi dauduun meri marazi
tie ki jagah main baandhu lamba kaala naag
safed kurte par lagavaau boot polish ke daag
tyohaaron mein pahan ke nikalu main jooton ka haar
bailon ke peechhe lagaau main to motor car
rasagulle mein mirchi daalu doodh mein daalu whisky
apani gharavaali se poochhuun tu hai beevi kisaki
taangevaale se udavaauun boeing jumbo jet
bhikhaari ko bheekh mein de du do bedroom ka flat
mujhe ab roko nahi ...
halavaai ko naai kah du dhobi ko main maali
film faalatu dekh ke main to khoob bajaau taali
sar pe apane moje pahanu haath mein pahanu boot
petrol ke sang oil milaake maaru do do ghut
main chahe ye karu ...
main suit ke sang pahanuga saadi meri marzi
main sharabat se kheton ko seenchu meri marzi
news reader ko main bolu gaao tum kavvaali
lecture koi to kah du chup ho ja mavaali
rishvat lene vaalon se main maanguga concession
doctor ke haathon mein maaru ghode ka injection
jhooth bol kar choron ko pahanaauga choli
desh ke sab gaddaaron ko maaruga main goli
kaala dhan lene vaalon ko duga nakali not
dhongi samaaj sevak ko na duga apana vot
mujhe ab roko nahi ...
qaumi danga kare jo usako bhijavaauga jel
phaansi dekar aatankavaad ka khatm karuga khel
main jeevan ka ye gaana meri marazi se gaau
main meri marazi se jiu marazi se mar jaau
main chahe ye karu ...
e lafade jhagade gaayab ho ja meri marzi
ai desh ke dushman tu chup ho ja meri marzi
ai bhaarat desh tu aage ho ja meri marzi
ai meri marazi tu sach ho ja meri marzi
main chahe ye karu ...
maaruga main sau joote jo lagaaoge laanchhan
mar jaaoge khud hi jo sachche ko doge tension
bhool se bhi lena nahi tum mera naam
gaana mera suno aur karo apana kaam
meri marazi ab mere ko nahi gaane ka hai meri marzi
main chahe ye karu main chahe woh karu
main chahe yaha jaau main chahe waha jaau
gore ko main kahu kala jeeja ko main bolu saala
nadi ko main bolu naala chaabi bina kholu taala
mere baare mein kuch kehna nahi
chupchaap baithe raho bolna nahi
mujhe samajhana mat jhooth sahi
chahe pee jaau main chaay kaafi daal ke dahi
meri marzi ...
har chauraahe par main apni murti lagawau
news paper kaat ke apna suit main banawau
hospital mein jaake main zoron se chillaau
pehalwan ko god mein leke lori sunaau
do sau teen sau chaar sau ke chhapvaau nakli note
aalu tamatar ko maaru criket ke shot
swimming pool mein tairne jaau pehanke kurta dhoti
badi laactari lage kabhi to rakhu surat roti
mujhe ab roko nahi mujhe ab toko nahi
mera kaha sun ke tum aaise ab chaunko nahi
nakli daadhi much laga ke ban jaau main chor
apne ghar mein chori karke khoob machaau shor
paani pe main raashan rakhu muft mein bechu tel
kankar patthar dhool daalkar sabko de du bhel
main chahe ye karu ...
main apni shaadi mein na jaau meri marzi
main pairon se table bajawaau meri marzi
main kutubameenar pe ghar banawaau meri marzi
aadhi raat ko chhat pe chadhu bajaau shehnaai
har terrace pe daadhi much ki kar du main safaai
bete ko main baap kah du pote ko main daddu
roz savere uthake khaau gyaarah kachche kaddu
sar ko ganja karavaake do fut ki rakhu choti
shaadi ki baaraat mein jaau pahan ke main langoti
gadhe ki dum pakadake usako maaru laat
sher ko apane paas bula ke jhaapad maaru saat
mujhe ab roko nahi ...
shok sabha mein dhol bajaau saath mein gaana gaau
pyaaj ka perfume laga ke roz main ofeece jaau
do botal paani pi ke main baayen daayen dolu
chalate havaai jahaaj ke main sab daravaaze kholu
main chahe ye karu ...
main bina sur ke gaane gaau meri marazi
main bagair ticket bhi train mein jaau meri marazi
main sheeshe se patthar ko todu meri marazi
main paani ke oopar bhi dauduun meri marazi
tie ki jagah main baandhu lamba kaala naag
safed kurte par lagavaau boot polish ke daag
tyohaaron mein pahan ke nikalu main jooton ka haar
bailon ke peechhe lagaau main to motor car
rasagulle mein mirchi daalu doodh mein daalu whisky
apani gharavaali se poochhuun tu hai beevi kisaki
taangevaale se udavaauun boeing jumbo jet
bhikhaari ko bheekh mein de du do bedroom ka flat
mujhe ab roko nahi ...
halavaai ko naai kah du dhobi ko main maali
film faalatu dekh ke main to khoob bajaau taali
sar pe apane moje pahanu haath mein pahanu boot
petrol ke sang oil milaake maaru do do ghut
main chahe ye karu ...
main suit ke sang pahanuga saadi meri marzi
main sharabat se kheton ko seenchu meri marzi
news reader ko main bolu gaao tum kavvaali
lecture koi to kah du chup ho ja mavaali
rishvat lene vaalon se main maanguga concession
doctor ke haathon mein maaru ghode ka injection
jhooth bol kar choron ko pahanaauga choli
desh ke sab gaddaaron ko maaruga main goli
kaala dhan lene vaalon ko duga nakali not
dhongi samaaj sevak ko na duga apana vot
mujhe ab roko nahi ...
qaumi danga kare jo usako bhijavaauga jel
phaansi dekar aatankavaad ka khatm karuga khel
main jeevan ka ye gaana meri marazi se gaau
main meri marazi se jiu marazi se mar jaau
main chahe ye karu ...
e lafade jhagade gaayab ho ja meri marzi
ai desh ke dushman tu chup ho ja meri marzi
ai bhaarat desh tu aage ho ja meri marzi
ai meri marazi tu sach ho ja meri marzi
main chahe ye karu ...
maaruga main sau joote jo lagaaoge laanchhan
mar jaaoge khud hi jo sachche ko doge tension
bhool se bhi lena nahi tum mera naam
gaana mera suno aur karo apana kaam
meri marazi ab mere ko nahi gaane ka hai meri marzi
robots hmmmm
One day Raju's dad bought a robot, The robot was special in that it could detect a lie and would slap the person who lied on the face.
Raju returned late from school that day and his dad asked him, "Son why are you late from school?".
Raju answered, "Dad we had extra classes today".
Much to his astonishment the Robot jumped up and slapped Raju on his face.
His dad told him son that his robot is special in that he can detect a lie and will then slap the person who lied now come on tell me the truth, "Why are you late?"
"Dad I went for a movie", "Which movie?" "The Ten Commandments", Splatt Raju got a tight slap on the face from the robot.
"No dad honest I went for the movie Sex Queen." Shame on you son when I was your age I never used to do such shameful things."
Splatt, the dad gets a tight slap on the face from the robot.
Hearing all this, Raju's mother comes walking out of the kitchen saying, "After all he is your son, he will be like you!", to which the robot steps up and gives a resounding slap on Raju's mothers face."
Raju returned late from school that day and his dad asked him, "Son why are you late from school?".
Raju answered, "Dad we had extra classes today".
Much to his astonishment the Robot jumped up and slapped Raju on his face.
His dad told him son that his robot is special in that he can detect a lie and will then slap the person who lied now come on tell me the truth, "Why are you late?"
"Dad I went for a movie", "Which movie?" "The Ten Commandments", Splatt Raju got a tight slap on the face from the robot.
"No dad honest I went for the movie Sex Queen." Shame on you son when I was your age I never used to do such shameful things."
Splatt, the dad gets a tight slap on the face from the robot.
Hearing all this, Raju's mother comes walking out of the kitchen saying, "After all he is your son, he will be like you!", to which the robot steps up and gives a resounding slap on Raju's mothers face."
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet",
which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct
the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review
the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots
(marked with a P for Problem); and the Solutions recorded
(marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: Loudspeaker volume unbelievably loud.
S: Loudspeaker volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's their purpose.
P: Pager inoperative.
S: Pager always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
And the best one for last .............
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel sounds like
... a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget
:D 8)
which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct
the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review
the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots
(marked with a P for Problem); and the Solutions recorded
(marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: Loudspeaker volume unbelievably loud.
S: Loudspeaker volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's their purpose.
P: Pager inoperative.
S: Pager always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
And the best one for last .............
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel sounds like
... a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget
:D 8)
20 August 2007
answersss
Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)
Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it
take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 rd Rank Opted for IFS)
Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four
apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)
Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with
one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)
Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs, He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98)
Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)
Q. What looks like half apple?
A : The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper )
Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?
A : Dinner.
Q. What happened when wheel was invented?
A : It caused a revolution.
Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A : Liquid (UPSC 33 R ank )
Interviewer said "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one
really difficult question.
Think well before you make up your mind!" The boy thought for a
while and said,
"my choice is one really difficult question."
"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this.
"What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted in! to reality as his admission depends on the
correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, "It's the
DAY sir!"
"How" the interviewer asked,
"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND
difficult question!"
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)
Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it
take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 rd Rank Opted for IFS)
Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four
apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)
Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with
one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)
Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs, He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98)
Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)
Q. What looks like half apple?
A : The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper )
Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?
A : Dinner.
Q. What happened when wheel was invented?
A : It caused a revolution.
Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A : Liquid (UPSC 33 R ank )
Interviewer said "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one
really difficult question.
Think well before you make up your mind!" The boy thought for a
while and said,
"my choice is one really difficult question."
"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this.
"What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted in! to reality as his admission depends on the
correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, "It's the
DAY sir!"
"How" the interviewer asked,
"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND
difficult question!"
some sucidal pjs
Shivji aur parvatiji computer kyon nahi seekh paye....??
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
..
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..
..
..
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..
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..
...
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...
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kyonki
...
..
..
..
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...
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
ganeshji mouse leke bhag jate the.....
how do u make a cocacola frm water in ur house........
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
/
/////
u put the water in a bottle.............
u put in the fridge..........
wht u get is pani which is "THANDA"
nd THANDA matlab.........
u're samrt guys..........
hippopotomus jhooth kyun nahin bolte?????
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
bcoz "hips dont lie"...shakira..
An Elephant meets an Ant!!
On Introduction:
Ant : Haathi tumhari umar kitni hai?
Elephant: Paanch Saal !!!
Ant : Paanch Saal aur itnay bade !!!
Elephant: I AM A COMPLAN BOY .
Elephant: Cheetti tumhari umar kitni hai ?
Ant: Tees Saal.
Elephant: Tees Saal aur itni chhoti.
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
Ant: Haan ....
I AM A SANTOOR GIRL.... MERI TWACHA SEY MERI UMAR KA PATA HI NAHI
CHALTA
jailer kaidi se- kal tumhe subah 5 baje faansi di jaayegi.
kaidi starts laughing................
why????????????
he says- main to roj subah 8 baje so ke uthta hoon.
Other than being fruits, what is common between an Apple and an
Orange?
think......
.............
.............
.............
.............
.............
.............
.............
.............
socho socho
.............
.............
.............
.............
.............
.............
............
.............
.............
.............
the answer is ..........
They Both Are Not a Banana !!
wats d volume of d person who has lost his memory???
sochoo
think!!!
pie r square h!!!!!
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
...
coz he keeps on sayin MAIN "CONE" HOON!!!!!!!!!
why did ramu throw butter from the window???
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
Ans : he wanted to see the butter-fly!!!!!!
have a nice weekend,
Siddharth.
"I learned, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it."
Ek Gadha ped par chadha to oopar baithe haathi ne poochha:
Haathi: Tu kyun chadha ?
Gadha: Apple khaane
Haathi: Lekin yeh to Mango tree hai !!
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
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...
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Gadha: Maloom hai, main apple saath laaya hoon!!
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
...
..
..
...
..
..
..
..
..
kyonki
...
..
..
..
..
...
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
ganeshji mouse leke bhag jate the.....
how do u make a cocacola frm water in ur house........
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
/
/////
u put the water in a bottle.............
u put in the fridge..........
wht u get is pani which is "THANDA"
nd THANDA matlab.........
u're samrt guys..........
hippopotomus jhooth kyun nahin bolte?????
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
bcoz "hips dont lie"...shakira..
An Elephant meets an Ant!!
On Introduction:
Ant : Haathi tumhari umar kitni hai?
Elephant: Paanch Saal !!!
Ant : Paanch Saal aur itnay bade !!!
Elephant: I AM A COMPLAN BOY .
Elephant: Cheetti tumhari umar kitni hai ?
Ant: Tees Saal.
Elephant: Tees Saal aur itni chhoti.
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
Ant: Haan ....
I AM A SANTOOR GIRL.... MERI TWACHA SEY MERI UMAR KA PATA HI NAHI
CHALTA
jailer kaidi se- kal tumhe subah 5 baje faansi di jaayegi.
kaidi starts laughing................
why????????????
he says- main to roj subah 8 baje so ke uthta hoon.
Other than being fruits, what is common between an Apple and an
Orange?
think......
.............
.............
.............
.............
.............
.............
.............
.............
socho socho
.............
.............
.............
.............
.............
.............
............
.............
.............
.............
the answer is ..........
They Both Are Not a Banana !!
wats d volume of d person who has lost his memory???
sochoo
think!!!
pie r square h!!!!!
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
...
coz he keeps on sayin MAIN "CONE" HOON!!!!!!!!!
why did ramu throw butter from the window???
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
Ans : he wanted to see the butter-fly!!!!!!
have a nice weekend,
Siddharth.
"I learned, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it."
Ek Gadha ped par chadha to oopar baithe haathi ne poochha:
Haathi: Tu kyun chadha ?
Gadha: Apple khaane
Haathi: Lekin yeh to Mango tree hai !!
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Gadha: Maloom hai, main apple saath laaya hoon!!
16 August 2007
some one liners...[;)]
Judge: Why did you hit your husband with a chair?"
Wife: "I couldn't lift the table."
******
"What did one ghost say to another?"
"Do you believe in people?"
******
My friend has a fine watch dog.
At any suspicious noise he wakes the dog and the dog begins to bark.
******
"Room Service? Can you send up a towel?"
" Please wait someone else is using it."
When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in
advance.
******
"Where did you get those big eyes?"
"They came with the face."
******
I went alone on our honeymoon. My wife had already seen Niagara
Falls .
******
But the psychiatrist really helped me a lot. I would never answer the
phone, because I was afraid. Now I answer it whether it rings or not.
******
It was love at first sight. Then I took a second look !!
******
"Look, guide, here are some lion tracks."
"Good. You see where they go and I'll find out where they came from."
******
"Do you think I"ll lose my looks as I get older?"
"Yes if you're lucky."
******
A modern artist is one who throws paint on canvas, wipes it off with
a cloth and sells the cloth.
******
Has there been any insanity in your family?"
"Yes, doctor. My husband thinks he's the boss."
******
I was thinking of becoming a doctor.
I have the handwriting for it.
******
"My wife doesn't know what she wants."
" You're lucky. My wife does."
******
We have a quiet home life. I don't speak to her and she doesn't speak
to me.
******
"What do use for washing dishes?"
"Oh, I tried many things but found my husband best. "
******
Wife: "I couldn't lift the table."
******
"What did one ghost say to another?"
"Do you believe in people?"
******
My friend has a fine watch dog.
At any suspicious noise he wakes the dog and the dog begins to bark.
******
"Room Service? Can you send up a towel?"
" Please wait someone else is using it."
When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in
advance.
******
"Where did you get those big eyes?"
"They came with the face."
******
I went alone on our honeymoon. My wife had already seen Niagara
Falls .
******
But the psychiatrist really helped me a lot. I would never answer the
phone, because I was afraid. Now I answer it whether it rings or not.
******
It was love at first sight. Then I took a second look !!
******
"Look, guide, here are some lion tracks."
"Good. You see where they go and I'll find out where they came from."
******
"Do you think I"ll lose my looks as I get older?"
"Yes if you're lucky."
******
A modern artist is one who throws paint on canvas, wipes it off with
a cloth and sells the cloth.
******
Has there been any insanity in your family?"
"Yes, doctor. My husband thinks he's the boss."
******
I was thinking of becoming a doctor.
I have the handwriting for it.
******
"My wife doesn't know what she wants."
" You're lucky. My wife does."
******
We have a quiet home life. I don't speak to her and she doesn't speak
to me.
******
"What do use for washing dishes?"
"Oh, I tried many things but found my husband best. "
******
1. A FOOLish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.
2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD,
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY
3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.
4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.
5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC
6. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we should KILL him.
Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path.
Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.
7. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life.
If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.
8. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.
Answer : On their MARRIAGE.
9. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness.
Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.
10. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.
Because per Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake.
11. "A Ship is always safe at the shore - but that is NOT what it is built for" -
2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD,
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY
3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.
4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.
5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC
6. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we should KILL him.
Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path.
Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.
7. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life.
If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.
8. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.
Answer : On their MARRIAGE.
9. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness.
Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.
10. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.
Because per Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake.
11. "A Ship is always safe at the shore - but that is NOT what it is built for" -
Height of optimism:
Soldier: Sir, we are surrounded!
Major: Excellent! We can attack in any direction now!
Q: What did the Gujju mean when he said, "Maro dikro Dubai gayo?"
A: My son drowned.
Q: Who is more satisfied, a man with a million dollars, or a man with
six children?
A: The man with six children. The man with a million dollars wants more.
Q:Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE. It means...Without
Information Fighting Evrytime!
Wife: It could also mean - With Idiot For Ever.
An American report: We crossed chickens with cows.The new breed
simultaneously produces milk, meat and eggs.
Report from France: We crossed flies and bees. The hybrid flies over
the trash fields and produces honey.
Report from India: We crossed a melon with cockroaches. When you cut
this melon, seeds run away by themselves
♥♥♥પ્રેમ એટલે ક......♥♥♥
પ્રેમ એટલે કે સાવ ખુલ્લી આંખોથી થતો મળવાનો વાયદો
સ્વપ્નમાં પળાય એવો કાયદો
પ્રેમ એટલે કે તારા ગાલોના ખાડામાં
ડૂબી જતાં મારાં ચોર્યાસી લાખ વહાણોનો કાફલો !
ક્યારે ય નહીં માણી હોય એવી કોઈ મોસમનો
કલરવ યાદ આવે, એ પ્રેમ છે
દાઢી કરતાં જો લોહી નીકળે, ને ત્યાં જ કોઈ
પાલવ યાદ આવે, એ પ્રેમ છે
પ્રેમ એટલે કે સાવ ઘરનો એક ઓરડો,
ને તોયે આખા ઘરથી અલાયદો…
કાજળ આંજીને તને જોઉં તો તું લાગે
એક છોકરી, ને તે ય શ્યામવરણી
વાદળ આંજીને જોતાં એવું લાગ્યું કે,
મને મૂકી, આકાશને તું પરણી
પ્રેમમાં તો ઝાકળ આંજીને તને જોવાને હોય
અને ફૂલોમાં ભરવાનો હોય છે મુશાયરો !
- મુકુલ ચોકસી
સ્વપ્નમાં પળાય એવો કાયદો
પ્રેમ એટલે કે તારા ગાલોના ખાડામાં
ડૂબી જતાં મારાં ચોર્યાસી લાખ વહાણોનો કાફલો !
ક્યારે ય નહીં માણી હોય એવી કોઈ મોસમનો
કલરવ યાદ આવે, એ પ્રેમ છે
દાઢી કરતાં જો લોહી નીકળે, ને ત્યાં જ કોઈ
પાલવ યાદ આવે, એ પ્રેમ છે
પ્રેમ એટલે કે સાવ ઘરનો એક ઓરડો,
ને તોયે આખા ઘરથી અલાયદો…
કાજળ આંજીને તને જોઉં તો તું લાગે
એક છોકરી, ને તે ય શ્યામવરણી
વાદળ આંજીને જોતાં એવું લાગ્યું કે,
મને મૂકી, આકાશને તું પરણી
પ્રેમમાં તો ઝાકળ આંજીને તને જોવાને હોય
અને ફૂલોમાં ભરવાનો હોય છે મુશાયરો !
- મુકુલ ચોકસી
Boy & Girl
Ek ladka apni shadi ke liye,
ladki dekhane gaya !
Wo dono ek room mai baithe &
ladka ladki se baatein karne laga.
Fir kuch der bad ladke ne ladki
se kaha ki tum bhi to kuch pucho.
Is par ladki ne { darte-darte } kaha,
bhayia aap kitne bhai bahan ho ?
Ladka bola - aaj tak to 3 they, par ab
aaj se 4 ho gaye.
************ ********* ********* ********
Boy & Girl in restaurant :
Boy:-I Love u
Girl:-I dont Love u
Boy:- Think again?
Girl:-I told u. No no & no
Boy:-Ok!!! Waiter,bring seperate bills.
Girl:- ok ok....... I Love u too........
(Ha Ha Ha)
ladki dekhane gaya !
Wo dono ek room mai baithe &
ladka ladki se baatein karne laga.
Fir kuch der bad ladke ne ladki
se kaha ki tum bhi to kuch pucho.
Is par ladki ne { darte-darte } kaha,
bhayia aap kitne bhai bahan ho ?
Ladka bola - aaj tak to 3 they, par ab
aaj se 4 ho gaye.
************ ********* ********* ********
Boy & Girl in restaurant :
Boy:-I Love u
Girl:-I dont Love u
Boy:- Think again?
Girl:-I told u. No no & no
Boy:-Ok!!! Waiter,bring seperate bills.
Girl:- ok ok....... I Love u too........
(Ha Ha Ha)
SOmething Abt my luckyy number 8
Number 8 represents the planet saturn. This number influences all persons born on the 8th, 17th or 26th of any month. They are talkative and boast at a lot. They cannot keep a secret for long and hence are not confidential. They believe in comforts. They have deep and very intence natures, great strength of individuality, they generally play some important role on life stage, but usually on which is fatalistic, or as the instrument of fate for others. They are handsome, smart, healthy and attractive but well wrapped with carelessness. It is advisable for them that they should not spoil their time in futile talks and curb their habit of carelessness if at all they do so they can be more successful. The lukcy colours for people born under the number 8 are all shades of dark grey, black, dark blue and purple. If number 8 peosons wear dress in light colour they would look awkward and as if there was something wrong with them.
Nature
The number eight people are very emotional. They think deeply about everything they are basically just and upright. They always feel that all should get equal justice. It is observed that they have socialistic leanings. Even if their views are opposed they are very firm about them. This result in enmity with many people. Their sympathetic emotions are very different. They have great love for small children. They spend a lot of time and money for the pleasure and education of children. They do not express clearly their sympathy or others. These people firm about their emotions. Sometimes because of their not expressing their emotions people misunderstand them and find them mysterious. The number eight people are fanatically religious. Their views about their country, religion and politics are very clear. Many a times they behave with stern sense of justice. Even though their mentality is approved by others they find it impracticable. That is why common people do not talk with the number eight people freely.
Nature
The number eight people are very emotional. They think deeply about everything they are basically just and upright. They always feel that all should get equal justice. It is observed that they have socialistic leanings. Even if their views are opposed they are very firm about them. This result in enmity with many people. Their sympathetic emotions are very different. They have great love for small children. They spend a lot of time and money for the pleasure and education of children. They do not express clearly their sympathy or others. These people firm about their emotions. Sometimes because of their not expressing their emotions people misunderstand them and find them mysterious. The number eight people are fanatically religious. Their views about their country, religion and politics are very clear. Many a times they behave with stern sense of justice. Even though their mentality is approved by others they find it impracticable. That is why common people do not talk with the number eight people freely.
03 August 2007
song from muvee TRAIN
Zindagi Ne Zindagibhar Ghum Diye / Mausam
Movie : The Train - 2007
Music Director : Mithoon
Singer :Mithoon
Lyricists :Sayeed Quadri
Cast: Emraan Hashmi, Geeta Basra, Sayali Bhagat
[Zindagi Ne Zindagi Bhar Gam Diye
Jitne Bhi Mausam Diye Sab Nam Diye] - 3
[Jab Tadapta Hai Kabhi Apna Koi
Khoon Ke Aansoo Rula De Bebasi] - 2
[Jee Ke Phir Karna Kya Mujhko Aisi Zindagi] - 2
Jisne Zakhmon Ko Nahi Marham Diye
[Zindagi Ne Zindagi Bhar Gam Diye
Jitne Bhi Mausam Diye Sab Nam Diye]
Zindagi Ne Zindagi Bhar Gam Diye
[Apne Hi Pesh Aaye Humse Ajnabee
Waqt Ki Saajish Koi Samjha Nahi] - 2
Beiraada Kuch Khatayein Humse Ho Gayi
Raah Mein Patthar Meri Har Dam Diye
Zindagi Ne Zindagi Bhar Gam Diye
Jitne Bhi Mausam Diye Sab Nam Diye
Zindagi Ne Zindagi Bhar Gam Diye
[Ek Mukambal Kashmakash Hai Zindagi
Usne Humse Ki Kabhi Naa Dosti] - 2
Jab Mili Mujhko Aasoo Ke Woh Tohphe De Gayi
[Has Sake Hum Aise Mauke Kam Diye] - 2
Zindagi Ne Zindagi Bhar Gam Diye
Jitne Bhi Mausam Diye Sab Nam Diye
Zindagi Ne Zindagi Bhar Gam Diye
23 July 2007
kids oh my god
A teacher asks her class, ''If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?'' She calls on little Johnny.
''None, they all fly away with the first gunshot.''
The teacher replies, ''The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.'' Then Little Johnny says, ''I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?''
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, ''Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.''
''The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on...but I like your thinking.''
''None, they all fly away with the first gunshot.''
The teacher replies, ''The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.'' Then Little Johnny says, ''I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?''
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, ''Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.''
''The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on...but I like your thinking.''
kids again
A little boy wanted Rs.50 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing
happened. Finally he decided to write God a letter requesting the
Rs.50.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God,
INDIA,
they decided to forward it to the President of India as a joke.
The President was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send
the little boy Rs.20. The President thought this would appear to be a
lot of money to a little boy, and he did not want to spoil the kid. The
little boy was delighted with Rs.20, and decided to write a thank you
note to God, which read:
"Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money.
However, I noticed that you sent it through the Rashtrapati Bhavan
in New Delhi, and those donkeys deducted Rs.30 in taxes ....."
happened. Finally he decided to write God a letter requesting the
Rs.50.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God,
INDIA,
they decided to forward it to the President of India as a joke.
The President was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send
the little boy Rs.20. The President thought this would appear to be a
lot of money to a little boy, and he did not want to spoil the kid. The
little boy was delighted with Rs.20, and decided to write a thank you
note to God, which read:
"Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money.
However, I noticed that you sent it through the Rashtrapati Bhavan
in New Delhi, and those donkeys deducted Rs.30 in taxes ....."
Difference between men & women talking
TWO WOMEN TALKING:
==================
>>
>>
>>
Woman 1: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!
Woman 2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I Mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?
Woman 1: No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.
Woman 2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my neck.
Woman 1: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to Take attention away from these football player shoulders of mine.
Woman 2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms, see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.
NOW TWO MEN TALKING
=================
>>
>>
Man 1: Haircut?
Man 2: Yeah
==================
>>
>>
>>
Woman 1: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!
Woman 2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I Mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?
Woman 1: No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.
Woman 2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my neck.
Woman 1: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to Take attention away from these football player shoulders of mine.
Woman 2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms, see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.
NOW TWO MEN TALKING
=================
>>
>>
Man 1: Haircut?
Man 2: Yeah
Glorious Ways to Propose and their replies
1. I wish I was one of your tears, so I could be born in your eye, run
down your cheek, and die on your lips.
Reply : I don't mind where you die.. as long as you do!
2. Did you know they changed the alphabet? They put U and I together.
Reply : So, how many times did you fail kinder garten?
3.Are your legs tired? Because you been running through my mind ALLday long.
Reply : Yes, they are. I've been running away from you!
4. Are you lost? Because it's so strange to see an angel so far from heaven.
Reply : How many times have you been to heaven, anyway?
5. Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by you again?
Reply : Yeah.. why don't you walk by and just keep walking!
6. What's that in your eye? Oh...it's a sparkle.
Reply : What are you on? Crack or cocaine?
7. Do you have a map? I just got lost in your eyes.
Reply : (too corny.. maybe a disgusted look would enough)
8.You can forget about going to heaven because it's sin to look that good.
Reply : You can be sure of going to hell.. your stupidity will assure
you of a place!
9. If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen.
Reply : So, that's your problem.. simple algebra!
down your cheek, and die on your lips.
Reply : I don't mind where you die.. as long as you do!
2. Did you know they changed the alphabet? They put U and I together.
Reply : So, how many times did you fail kinder garten?
3.Are your legs tired? Because you been running through my mind ALLday long.
Reply : Yes, they are. I've been running away from you!
4. Are you lost? Because it's so strange to see an angel so far from heaven.
Reply : How many times have you been to heaven, anyway?
5. Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by you again?
Reply : Yeah.. why don't you walk by and just keep walking!
6. What's that in your eye? Oh...it's a sparkle.
Reply : What are you on? Crack or cocaine?
7. Do you have a map? I just got lost in your eyes.
Reply : (too corny.. maybe a disgusted look would enough)
8.You can forget about going to heaven because it's sin to look that good.
Reply : You can be sure of going to hell.. your stupidity will assure
you of a place!
9. If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen.
Reply : So, that's your problem.. simple algebra!
Astrological Prayers...
Aries
Dear God, please give me patience... and could you do it right now?
Taurus
Dear God, help me accept change, but not too quick.
Gemini
Dear God! Who is God? Where is God? Why is God?
Cancer
Dear God!!!
Leo
Yes..
Virgo
Dear God, please make us perfect and don't mess it up like You did the
last time.
Libra
Dear God, please help me to be decisive, but on the other hand, what
do you think is best?
Scorpio
Our Father, forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors, even
though they don't deserve it!
Sagittarius
Dear Lord, if I've told you once, I've told you a million times, help
me stop exaggerating.
Capricorn
Dear God! I'd like to ask you to help me, but I learned a long time
ago not to rely on anyone else!
Aquarius
Dear God, I know I like change, but this chaos is ridiculous!!
Pisces
Dear Lord, as long as I'm going to drink this fifth of Scotch tonight,
please use the stimulation for Thy glory.
Dear God, please give me patience... and could you do it right now?
Taurus
Dear God, help me accept change, but not too quick.
Gemini
Dear God! Who is God? Where is God? Why is God?
Cancer
Dear God!!!
Leo
Yes..
Virgo
Dear God, please make us perfect and don't mess it up like You did the
last time.
Libra
Dear God, please help me to be decisive, but on the other hand, what
do you think is best?
Scorpio
Our Father, forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors, even
though they don't deserve it!
Sagittarius
Dear Lord, if I've told you once, I've told you a million times, help
me stop exaggerating.
Capricorn
Dear God! I'd like to ask you to help me, but I learned a long time
ago not to rely on anyone else!
Aquarius
Dear God, I know I like change, but this chaos is ridiculous!!
Pisces
Dear Lord, as long as I'm going to drink this fifth of Scotch tonight,
please use the stimulation for Thy glory.
KYA HAL HAI MAMU???
PROFESSOR :
Akal badi ki bhais?
MUNNA BHAI :
Bole toh pehlay date of birth bata mamu.
________________________________
MUNNA BHAI :
Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
CIRCUIT :
Bhai, gaadi hai.
MUNNA BHAI :
Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
CIRCUIT :
Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford
----------------------------------------
PROFESSOR :
Akal badi ki bhais?
MUNNA BHAI :
Bole toh pehlay date of birth bata mamu.
________________________________
MUNNA BHAI :
Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
CIRCUIT :
Bhai, gaadi hai.
MUNNA BHAI :
Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
CIRCUIT :
Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford
----------------------------------------
MUNNA BHAI : Mamu, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya tha. MAMU : Aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya? MUNNA BHAI : Yaad nehin hai yaar. Bahut purane baat hai. _____________________________ MUNNA BHAI : Mamu, tu kitna pada hai? MAMU : B.A. MUNNA BHAI : Sala, two akshar pada aur woh bhi ulta? ---------------------------------------- PRINCIPAL : Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500. MUNNA BHAI : Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu |
1) Sign on a railway station at Patna:
Aana free, jaana free, pakde gaye to khana free.
2) Seen on a famous beauty parlor in Bombay:
Don't whistle at the girl going out from here. She may be your grandmother!
3) Seen on a bulletin board:
Success is relative. More the success, more the relatives.
4)Sign at a barber's saloon in Juhu, Bombay:
We need your heads to run our business.
5)A traffic slogan:
Don't let your kids drive if they are not old enough
-or else they never will be.....
6)Sign in a restaurant:
All drinking water in this establishment has been personally passed by the manager.
THE BEST ONE :
7) Its God's responsibility to forgive the terrorist organizations such as Jaish, Lashkar etc.
Its our responsibility to arrange the meeting between them and God.
Aana free, jaana free, pakde gaye to khana free.
2) Seen on a famous beauty parlor in Bombay:
Don't whistle at the girl going out from here. She may be your grandmother!
3) Seen on a bulletin board:
Success is relative. More the success, more the relatives.
4)Sign at a barber's saloon in Juhu, Bombay:
We need your heads to run our business.
5)A traffic slogan:
Don't let your kids drive if they are not old enough
-or else they never will be.....
6)Sign in a restaurant:
All drinking water in this establishment has been personally passed by the manager.
THE BEST ONE :
7) Its God's responsibility to forgive the terrorist organizations such as Jaish, Lashkar etc.
Its our responsibility to arrange the meeting between them and God.
nothing to read just laugh
THIS TRUE FOR ALL RELATIONSHIPS, NOT JUST MARRIAGE
My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine,somegood food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, and I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Delhi and mine is inKerala.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric breadmaker.Then she said, "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!"So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was waterin the carburetor. I asked where the car was, she told me, "In the lake."
8. She got a mudpack and
looked great for two days. Then the mud felloff.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for thegarbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"
10. Remember....Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. Statistically, 100% of all divorces start with marriage.
12. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
13. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like tointerrupt her.
14. The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"...Isaid, 'Dust!"
15. In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God createdman andrested. Then God created woman............ Since then, neither God normanhas rested.
16. Why do men die before their wives?............... Because they wantto
My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine,somegood food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, and I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Delhi and mine is inKerala.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric breadmaker.Then she said, "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!"So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was waterin the carburetor. I asked where the car was, she told me, "In the lake."
8. She got a mudpack and
looked great for two days. Then the mud felloff.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for thegarbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"
10. Remember....Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. Statistically, 100% of all divorces start with marriage.
12. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
13. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like tointerrupt her.
14. The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"...Isaid, 'Dust!"
15. In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God createdman andrested. Then God created woman............ Since then, neither God normanhas rested.
16. Why do men die before their wives?............... Because they wantto
a perfect husband ;)
There are several men sitting around in the locker room of a golf club. After a round, showering and getting changed for the 19th hole.
Suddenly a mobile phone on one of the benches rings. One of the men picks it up, and the following conversation ensues:
(H - Husband, W - Wife)
H - "Hello ?"
W - "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club? "
H - "Yes."
W -"Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful leather coat. It's absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?"
H -"What's the price?"
W - "Only $1,000."
H - "Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much..."
W -"Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2005 models. I saw one I really liked. It's a SLK model. I spoke with the salesman and he gave me a really good price. And since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year...
H - "What price did he quote you?"
W - "Only $65,000..."
H - "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
W - "Great! But before we hang up, something else...
H -"What?"
W - "It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and saw the house we had looked at last year. It's for sale!! Remember? The one with a pool, English garden, acre of park area, beach front property."
H - "How much are they asking?"
w - "Only $450,000 -- a magnificent price.. .and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover..."
H - "Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid up to $420,000. OK?"
W - "OK, sweetie...Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!"
H - " Bye...I love you too..."
The man hangs up & closes the phone's flap. The other men are looking at him in astonishment and derision. The husband raises his hand while holding the phone and asks " Does anyone know who this Cell phone belong to???"
Suddenly a mobile phone on one of the benches rings. One of the men picks it up, and the following conversation ensues:
(H - Husband, W - Wife)
H - "Hello ?"
W - "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club? "
H - "Yes."
W -"Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful leather coat. It's absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?"
H -"What's the price?"
W - "Only $1,000."
H - "Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much..."
W -"Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2005 models. I saw one I really liked. It's a SLK model. I spoke with the salesman and he gave me a really good price. And since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year...
H - "What price did he quote you?"
W - "Only $65,000..."
H - "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
W - "Great! But before we hang up, something else...
H -"What?"
W - "It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and saw the house we had looked at last year. It's for sale!! Remember? The one with a pool, English garden, acre of park area, beach front property."
H - "How much are they asking?"
w - "Only $450,000 -- a magnificent price.. .and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover..."
H - "Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid up to $420,000. OK?"
W - "OK, sweetie...Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!"
H - " Bye...I love you too..."
The man hangs up & closes the phone's flap. The other men are looking at him in astonishment and derision. The husband raises his hand while holding the phone and asks " Does anyone know who this Cell phone belong to???"
ramanujan number
The number 1729 is k/s the R numb.It was Ram_ who discovered the it it is the smallest number that can be expressed as the sum of 2 cubes in 2 diff ways.
1729 = 1^3 + 12^3 = 9^3 + 10^3
1729 = 1^3 + 12^3 = 9^3 + 10^3
deadly pj for engg..................
Before reacting to the PJ do read the disclaimer at the end of the PJ
below:
So here it goes....Njoy :-)
Once 'Constant' and e^x ( e raised to x) were walking down the road.
Suddenly 'Constant' screamed and said:
"I m going bcoz 'Differential' is coming and if he sees me he will
eliminate me."
But e^x stands firm in front of ' Differential' and says:
"U can't do anything with me. I m e^x and will always be e^x."
'Differential starts laughing??..
.
.
.
.
Why??
.
Socho ...............
Socho ...............
Socho ...............
Socho ...............
Socho ...............
Socho ...............
Socho ...............
Socho ...............
Socho ...............
Socho ...............
Socho ...............
Socho ...............
Socho ...............
Socho ...............
Socho ...............
Socho ...............
Differential says: " I m not d/dx, I m d/dy."
This PJ is purely intended for Technical minded people specially those who
r into IT and already lost all their common senses after a long stint of
designing ,coding n testing. This PJ is also targeted for the readers to
refresh their basic mathematics knowledge
When 2 S/W Enggs fall in LOVE....?
Our hero chatting with chat GF (heroin). Both are s/w engrs by the way and
both work for real big MNC's :)
Hero : Hey..GM.. hows u doing today?
Heroin : VGM...Day is going good and it got better having found u on chat
Hero : wow...am honoured, u know wat, my day starts only when i find you on chat
Heroin : Yep...me too feel the same..brb (be right back) 'll get some coffee.
Hero : OK
(Hero waits impatiently. Meanwhile, his manager comes to his seat.)
Manager : Hey, I need some help from you
Hero : [**** This guy always comes at wrong time] Yeah tell me
Manager : Could u write a program for me which generates nth prime number,given value of n. Would you give this by today evening?
Hero : I would do that, but i think its quite hard, is it ok with you, if i give it by tomorrow evening.
Manager : Yeah, that would be fine. Thank you [Leaves the place]
(Our hero sighs and stares at his monitor waiting impatiently for heroin to arrive. All of a sudden smiles on his face. Over to chat window...)
Heroin : Hey, am back
Hero : cool, you know what my manager, he's kinda keeps asking stupid things, tries to give me stupid work
Heroin : Yeah, its the same everywhere. Real sick ppl these managers are!!
Hero : Yep, u rite!!
Heroin : Hey, can u do me a favour
Hero : *smiles* sure, why not.
Heroin : Hey, I want you to write me a program to print nth prime number,given N. would you give that to me by tomorrow evening? plzzz. You know its real urgent for me to work this out :)
Hero : hey, thats a one-hour's work. Sure check ur mail in an hour from now..ok?
Heroin : WASTE-FELLOW, THAT WAS THE SAMETHING I ASKED U WHEN I CAME TO YOUR WORK PLACE. YOU KNOW WHO IAM NOW!!
YOUR 1 HOUR TIME STARTS NOW!
both work for real big MNC's :)
Hero : Hey..GM.. hows u doing today?
Heroin : VGM...Day is going good and it got better having found u on chat
Hero : wow...am honoured, u know wat, my day starts only when i find you on chat
Heroin : Yep...me too feel the same..brb (be right back) 'll get some coffee.
Hero : OK
(Hero waits impatiently. Meanwhile, his manager comes to his seat.)
Manager : Hey, I need some help from you
Hero : [**** This guy always comes at wrong time] Yeah tell me
Manager : Could u write a program for me which generates nth prime number,given value of n. Would you give this by today evening?
Hero : I would do that, but i think its quite hard, is it ok with you, if i give it by tomorrow evening.
Manager : Yeah, that would be fine. Thank you [Leaves the place]
(Our hero sighs and stares at his monitor waiting impatiently for heroin to arrive. All of a sudden smiles on his face. Over to chat window...)
Heroin : Hey, am back
Hero : cool, you know what my manager, he's kinda keeps asking stupid things, tries to give me stupid work
Heroin : Yeah, its the same everywhere. Real sick ppl these managers are!!
Hero : Yep, u rite!!
Heroin : Hey, can u do me a favour
Hero : *smiles* sure, why not.
Heroin : Hey, I want you to write me a program to print nth prime number,given N. would you give that to me by tomorrow evening? plzzz. You know its real urgent for me to work this out :)
Hero : hey, thats a one-hour's work. Sure check ur mail in an hour from now..ok?
Heroin : WASTE-FELLOW, THAT WAS THE SAMETHING I ASKED U WHEN I CAME TO YOUR WORK PLACE. YOU KNOW WHO IAM NOW!!
YOUR 1 HOUR TIME STARTS NOW!
WHY GIRLS DONT MARRY SOFTWARE ENGINEERS ??????
Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.
Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.
Wife - but I told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry,cancel.
Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where's your salary.
Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.
Wife - at least give me your credit card, i can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.
Wife - i made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - data type mismatch.
Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default.
Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.
Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters.
Wife - i will go to my dad's house.
Husband - program has performed an illegal operation,it will close.
Husband - hard disk full.
Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.
Wife - but I told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry,cancel.
Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where's your salary.
Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.
Wife - at least give me your credit card, i can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.
Wife - i made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - data type mismatch.
Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default.
Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.
Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters.
Wife - i will go to my dad's house.
Husband - program has performed an illegal operation,it will close.
intresting.....................
Do you know,
Letters 'a', 'b', 'c' &'d' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 99
( Letter 'd' comes for the first time in Hundred )
Letters 'a', 'b' & 'c' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999
( Letter 'a' comes for the first time in Thousand )
Letters 'b' & 'c' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999,999,999
( Letter 'b' comes for the first time in Billion )
And
Letter 'c' does not appear anywhere in the spellings of entire English counting
Letters 'a', 'b', 'c' &'d' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 99
( Letter 'd' comes for the first time in Hundred )
Letters 'a', 'b' & 'c' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999
( Letter 'a' comes for the first time in Thousand )
Letters 'b' & 'c' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999,999,999
( Letter 'b' comes for the first time in Billion )
And
Letter 'c' does not appear anywhere in the spellings of entire English counting
gOOd OnE
Advertisement In A Long Island Shop: Guitar, for sale....... Cheap...........no strings attached .
Ad.. In Hospital Waiting Room: Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung At A Time!
Seen on a bulletin board: Success Is Relative. More The Success, More The Relatives.
When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking...I Gave Up Reading.
My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn't Need Glasses... He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle.
Sign In A Bar: "Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please Pay In Advance."
Sign In Driving School: If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way.
Behind Every Great Man, There Is A Surprised Woman.
The Reason Men Lie Is Because Women Ask So Many Questions.
Getting Caught Is The Mother Of Invention.
Laugh And The World Laughs With You, Snore And You sleep Alone.
The Surest Sign That Intelligent Life Exists Elsewhere In The Universe Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To Contact Us.
Sign At A Barber's Saloon In Detroit: We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business.
A Traffic Slogan: Don't Let Your Kids Drive If They are Not Old Enough Or Else They Will Never Be.
Sign In A Restaurant: All Drinking Water In This Establishment Has Been Personally Passed By The Manager.
Sign On A Famous Beauty Parlor Window: Don't Whistle At The Girls Going Out From Here. She May Be Your Grandmother !
& the best among.....
You Know Your kids Have Grown Up When: Your Daughter Begins To Put On Lipstick.. Or Your Son Starts To Wipe It Off . . !!
Ad.. In Hospital Waiting Room: Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung At A Time!
Seen on a bulletin board: Success Is Relative. More The Success, More The Relatives.
When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking...I Gave Up Reading.
My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn't Need Glasses... He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle.
Sign In A Bar: "Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please Pay In Advance."
Sign In Driving School: If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way.
Behind Every Great Man, There Is A Surprised Woman.
The Reason Men Lie Is Because Women Ask So Many Questions.
Getting Caught Is The Mother Of Invention.
Laugh And The World Laughs With You, Snore And You sleep Alone.
The Surest Sign That Intelligent Life Exists Elsewhere In The Universe Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To Contact Us.
Sign At A Barber's Saloon In Detroit: We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business.
A Traffic Slogan: Don't Let Your Kids Drive If They are Not Old Enough Or Else They Will Never Be.
Sign In A Restaurant: All Drinking Water In This Establishment Has Been Personally Passed By The Manager.
Sign On A Famous Beauty Parlor Window: Don't Whistle At The Girls Going Out From Here. She May Be Your Grandmother !
& the best among.....
You Know Your kids Have Grown Up When: Your Daughter Begins To Put On Lipstick.. Or Your Son Starts To Wipe It Off . . !!
BEchaRE HUsbaUnd
Men and women on earth die and go to heaven. God comes and says
"I want the men to form two queues, one line for the men who dominated their women, and the other one for the men who were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go away so that no man and woman can talk."
Next time God comes back, the women are gone, and there are two lines. The line for the men who were dominated by their women is 100 miles long, and in the line of men who dominated their women there is only one man.
God gets mad and says, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image, and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons who stood up and made me proud. Learn from him!"
"Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"
The man replies, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."
"I want the men to form two queues, one line for the men who dominated their women, and the other one for the men who were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go away so that no man and woman can talk."
Next time God comes back, the women are gone, and there are two lines. The line for the men who were dominated by their women is 100 miles long, and in the line of men who dominated their women there is only one man.
God gets mad and says, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image, and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons who stood up and made me proud. Learn from him!"
"Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"
The man replies, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."
03 July 2007
The biggest lie you ever told - your deepest fear bout growin old
The longest night you ever spent - the angriest letter you never sent
The boy you swore youd never leave - the one you kissed on new yearss eve
The sweetest dream you had last night -- your darkest hour, your hardest fight
I wanna know you - like I know myself
Im waitin for you - there aint no one else
Talk to me baby - scream and shout
I want to know you - inside out
I wanna dig down deep - I wanna lose some sleep
I wanna scream and shout - I wanna know you inside out
I wanna take my time - I wanna know your mind
Ya know there aint no doubt - I wanna know you inside out
The saddest song you ever heard - the most you said with just one word
The loneliest prayer you ever prayed - the truest vow you ever made
What makes you laught, what makes you cry
What makes you mad, what gets you by
You highest hight, your lowest low - these things I want to know
I wanna know you - like I know myself
Im waitin for you - there aint no one else
Talk to me baby - scream and shout
I want to know you - inside out
I wanna dig down deep - I wanna lose some sleep
I wanna scream and shout - I wanna know you inside out
I wanna take my time - I wanna know your mind
Ya know there aint no doubt - I wanna know oyu inside out
I wanna know your sould - I wanna lose control
Cmon n let it out - I wanna know you inside out
Ya gotta dig down deep - I wanna lose some slieep
I wanna scream and shout - I wanna know oyu inside out
Tell me everything...
The longest night you ever spent - the angriest letter you never sent
The boy you swore youd never leave - the one you kissed on new yearss eve
The sweetest dream you had last night -- your darkest hour, your hardest fight
I wanna know you - like I know myself
Im waitin for you - there aint no one else
Talk to me baby - scream and shout
I want to know you - inside out
I wanna dig down deep - I wanna lose some sleep
I wanna scream and shout - I wanna know you inside out
I wanna take my time - I wanna know your mind
Ya know there aint no doubt - I wanna know you inside out
The saddest song you ever heard - the most you said with just one word
The loneliest prayer you ever prayed - the truest vow you ever made
What makes you laught, what makes you cry
What makes you mad, what gets you by
You highest hight, your lowest low - these things I want to know
I wanna know you - like I know myself
Im waitin for you - there aint no one else
Talk to me baby - scream and shout
I want to know you - inside out
I wanna dig down deep - I wanna lose some sleep
I wanna scream and shout - I wanna know you inside out
I wanna take my time - I wanna know your mind
Ya know there aint no doubt - I wanna know oyu inside out
I wanna know your sould - I wanna lose control
Cmon n let it out - I wanna know you inside out
Ya gotta dig down deep - I wanna lose some slieep
I wanna scream and shout - I wanna know oyu inside out
Tell me everything...
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